Product Review: The HOKA ONE ONE tor Ultra Hi WP

What boots should you be wearing in the anthropocene?

What we have here are the Hoka One One Tor Ultra Hi WPs in burnt olive/smog green, with tractor tread soles and waterproof uppers – for when The Flood comes. These snaps were taken on my annual Day Out In The Countryside, but I’m going to be wearing them every day in town, too. Wearing walking boots all the time in a city – especially drab olive ones – gives you that very 2020 eco-friendly virtuecore vibe. Maybe you’re trying to take the trade union you belong to in a new, greener direction. Maybe you’re running for local government on an environmentalist platform, exposing the misdeeds of the local factory owner and demanding a transition to sustainable energy. Pop these on and next thing you know they’re making an eco-thriller biopic of you starring Adam Driver. In the climax, you/Adam confront said factory owner in the town diner over his sabotage of your campaign to be councilman. He’s wearing a suit; you’re wearing a fleece and your trusty Hokas, worn and muddied from Mother Nature – or as you like to call her, Gaia. The question isn’t “suits vs. boots.” It’s “which side of history do you want to be on?” You might not be making a difference, but you can at least look like you are.